Life After Change

Once I had finally made up my mind to get divorced about a year ago I did what every self-aware thirty year-old in a moment of crisis would do: I googled it.

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Once I had finally made up my mind to get divorced about a year ago I did what every self-aware thirty year-old in a moment of crisis would do: I googled it.

Now I am not sure if that is something worth bragging about, probably not considering the lack of useful information I came across, but that was the only place I could think to look. In the end, the internet helped me find a lawyer, helped me process what paperwork needed to be completed, and to gain a general understanding of what would happen throughout the process. Alas, Google failed me for one of the few moments in my life.

If you have ever been through a divorce, especially at a young age, I am sure you have found yourself in the midst of a similar search. Like, for real, what exactly are you supposed to do when you are 30 (or younger) and divorced?

I am no expert. I don’t have a psychology degree. I am not a therapist. And I have certainly only been down this road once. However, what I have found is that when you go through a divorce, just like any other major life change, you just wake up and live your life.

To say it so simply is not to sell short the pain you feel, or felt, when you experienced your own big-life change. I know that pain very well. I can particularly remember sending my best guy friend a gif of an mushroom cloud right after telling my ex I was ready for him to leave, because that was how I felt about my life in that moment. But guess what? Nothing exploded. Not my house, not my job, not my family, and most importantly in that moment- not my heart.

Now I am not saying that there are not bad days. I still have them occasionally. The dating scene when you are divorced and 30 is rough around the edges, and there is an immense amount of uncertainty that will envelop you for months on end. However, if your friends and family are anything like mine- you will be blown away daily by the love that remains in the world– at a moment when you are feeling very unlovable.

So I guess this will be my story of moving and learning to love again; except this time not a man- myself.

 

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